BEYOND DISTRACTION

Listening & relating with our teams and, with ourselves

Marion Giddy - 14 October 2020

When was the last moment in which you felt fully open, curious and present to be able to respond authentically to exactly what was required, without the internal, or external noise of distraction?

“I'll just do this one thing and then..“If I get this out of the way first…“As soon as they stop talking I’ll be able to...

In today’s world, distraction can almost be taken as standard operating procedure for everyday experience. In fact the ‘entertainment’ world would have us believe that a distraction is an optimal way of ‘tuning out’ and recharging.

As a business owner, and coach, I frequently work with individuals who experience distraction, procrastination, lack of motivation, and other unresourceful states that are standing in the way of meaningful goals and relationships, whether at work or home.

In our recent YES& coaching circle community session, we explored the concept of distraction, and the drive to ‘fill’ ourselves, and our time. The discussion revealed how distractions  can lead us away from our goals and intentions for how we would like to act or be, when we are working, living and relating to others.

Whether in a team, within a project or task, or importantly, in our conversations and relationships with those around us, distraction can play a role in the extent to which we have capacity to show up for ourselves, and for others.    

As we reflect we may notice areas of our lives where distraction prevents us from; 

 our intention to be present to others and care, 

 to listen deeply, 

 to seek other’s opinions, 

 or to apply our focus to our activities.

So as we seek to understand how distraction plays out for ourselves and our teams, we can take a closer look at the word distraction. 

In latin, the word is made of two parts;

Dis- away
Trahere- draw

The state of being drawn away from another point.

In exploring this concept throughout this blog, I’ll touch on both inner and outer distractions, and how these might play out in the team environments that so many of us engage with on a daily basis.

Distractions may fall into two categories; inner distractions, and outer influences.

Inner Distractions: The internal noise of thinking patterns that distract us from accurately making sense of what’s in front of us, or relating authentically to others.

How many times recently have you had a conversation, and whilst the other was sharing you were planning what to say next?  Or within the working environment, thinking about how your opinion is different to what is being shared.  This internal thinking & noise  may be related to our own agenda, our thoughts and plans, around what we want to be achieving or doing, distracting us away from what the other person is saying.

Similarly,  the habitual ways of thinking that create the busy monkey mind prevent clear sense making & discernment to what is true or required for a more authentic expression of self in the moment. The conversations we might have with ourselves in the moments where we ‘convince’ ourselves to operate in a particular way, rather than following through on what we had earlier intended actioning.  For many this may be the ‘I should.. but ..’ internal merry-go-round that stands in the way of useful action.

Finally, the distraction of our own Interpretations & defenses - the moments where we are protecting our position, what is believed is right, that may draw the individual away from what is really true about the other in that moment.  These distractions of self and opinion that draw us away from a place of openness and curiously exploring the perspectives and opinions of others with whom we are collaborating.

Outer Influences of routines & habits: The context driven, daily sequences of activity that hold an ‘inertia’ that prevents novel, or different action being taken .

As coaches, at YES& we often begin work with clients on setting up habits and ways of being that lead to greater productivity and spaciousness as they move through their days and release restrictions and habitual distracted ways of operating.  Within this, we know that many habits, and automatic moods and frames of mind, or thinking patterns, are activated by environmental cues.  Are there aspects of the daily routines and rituals in which you engage that distract you from how you intend to show up, at home, in relationships, or at work?  

Which habitual patterns are currently digging in their heels, as simply ‘too hard to change’, but are standing in the way of your potential?    This inertia within our daily automatic patterns  is felt as a force that draws us away from what we might have earlier intended to do differently. Are there new habits, environments, or daily routines that would support you to be less drawn away from your intention?

Lastly are there also routines in our ways of communicating, and how does our context play a role in re-enacting these same roles over and over.  As we fall into habitual conversational patterns, the ‘easy’ distraction of scripts our interactions can follow may draw us away from more authentic, and honest conversations.  

And so, what is it - that is drawing us away from the goals and intentions we may have set for ourselves and our relationships?  

We may not feel inclined to think of people or activities within our teams and roles, when we think of the word ‘relationship’.  However this relating that occurs within the business and working space is one of the primary arenas, and also a frequently reported ‘cause’ of distraction for individuals, and so it is worth paying attention to the interaction and exchange that is occurring between us, and the people and activities in our working environments.

As we look, we can notice the elements of distraction at work that lead to difficulties with procrastination and productivity, and secondly the working demands ‘distracting’ the individual from their ability to connect more deeply, or unwind outside of the working space.  

For those who are business owners and leaders, the busy-ness of the working environment can itself easily influence or embed a distracted state to develop.  Showing up from this place for their team members can become thought-less, or second in line to the ‘tasks’ that can pile up in the schedule.

In this relating then, to our teams and our activities, what are the inner and outer distractions and influences that govern our behaviour and may be operating without our awareness?  

As we begin to pay attention to, and notice, our relationships with the distractions that we usually ignore or feign indifference over, we can gain sovereignty over their role in our everyday experience.   For as soon as we are fully aware of how a particular distraction is operating for ourselves, we then have space to view this distraction objectively, and can make more care-ful or intentional choices, free of the influence of this habitual force.

Is there space to  listen, more closely, to notice the distractions that are currently playing out for you.  

Then with that noticing, the invitation is to show up more authentically, by deeply valuing and reminding ourselves of the intentions we hold and direction in which we are moving moment to moment.



Are you curious about above topics, for your own developmental growth, specifically?

In the coaching process we increase the capacity for self awareness and intentional developmental growth. Through self awareness and intentional developmental growth, we become powerful agents of change, achieving tremendous positive influence whilst simultaneously be-ing from a thriving, and playful place.