DEVELOPING HABITS FOR GROWTH

Marion Giddy - 16 September 2020

What is the practice ecology that is in place in your life, and is it supporting you to show up, the way you are hoping for?

Our daily habits, practices and rituals link to our aspirations, goals or our idea of . . .

. . . how we would like the rhythm of our days and weeks to flow.


As a coach, I often work with clients who want to improve their relationship to habit development, and find the motivation they need, to stay on track towards their goals and desires.

We humans can often tend to have an ‘all or nothing’ mindset when it comes to creating and consolidating new patterns and ways of being in the world. And we can tend to be harsh critics towards ourselves for each perceived failure to achieve what we are believing should be achieved.

We often begin our journey towards new habits, aligned with future goals, by relying on external structures like habit trackers, wall calendars, external rewards, and blocking out special time to find the right ‘fit’ of new habits.

These external structures can operate a little like an ‘exoskeleton’ in an insect, protective, hard, fiercely defending the vulnerable goals and aspirations within. 

However, as with all exoskeletons, their rigidity provides a limiting framework for growth.

Our internal narrative can tell us stories around what our life will be like, when we finally ‘automate’ this particular way of thinking, setting us up to fail when we don’t meet this standard, or when the environment and context of our lives don’t allow us to achieve perfection. 

We miss a day of our new habit, and then a few more, a week, a month. 

We forgot the intention with which we were heading into this new territory of growth, and our lack of daily success becomes a reinforcement that we simply won't be able to get back on track.

I propose a new system . .

A self-correcting system, with more flexibility. 

An endo-skeleton of practices. 

An internalised strength and rhythm that allows for mobility and responsiveness. 

One in which we look at our daily practices, including automated habits and intentional rituals, and see it as a balance. 

Not in terms of oppositional concept of balance, where there is a black and white distinction between seperate, discrete elements that must be equally weighted to cancel out the impact of the other. 

Rather, a responsive balance, a fluidity, a capacity to move between required demands, whilst still maintaining equilibrium. 

This is the individual’s practice ecology. 


How does the ecosystem of both automated habits and intentional practices fit together in a dance around the needs of self, and in response to life.

This ecosystem is based not on a step by step ladder of growth, but rather on developing a foundational way of thinking about growth.


Can I allow myself the flexibility to both rest, recover, train, work, serve and play, not in equal parts necessarily, but as required by the environment and context I find myself in?  

Is there room for me to enjoy the small moments, the play of the practice, the journey of development, rather than holding on the outcome?

What space do I have within myself, to let go of any need to be ‘motivated’ towards goals, and step into accountability for daily practices required towards maintenance and growth?


At YES& recently we have been exploring and playing with the use of Wicked Questions (thanks to Digital Village).  Defined as a paradoxical question, a complexity puzzle, to which there is no true or right answer, only a process of discovery and emergence through the question's contemplation.

And so, I pose a final question:

How is it that I can simultaneously hold myself fully accountable for my own capacity & growth, whilst allowing room for the flexibility to be responsive to the needs of the relationships that my work, life and other people pose?

As this question comes to life within your mind, consider what it would look like, what you might need to believe, tell yourself, or let go of, in order to step into a greater capacity to show up, in the way you are truly intending.

Gently releasing, the habits and ways of thinking that don’t serve, and courageously embracing the radical responsibility required to bring forward new patterns of life, new rhythms that prove to be a stronger foundation for ourselves as we head towards our meaningful goals.

A practice framework, a skeleton, that allows for strength and emergence of your actual full capacity to show up with love, care and creativity in your work and play. 


Are you curious about above topics, for your own developmental growth, specifically?

In the coaching process we increase the capacity for self awareness and intentional developmental growth. Through self awareness and intentional developmental growth, we become powerful agents of change, achieving tremendous positive influence whilst simultaneously be-ing from a thriving, and playful place.