BREAKING THE HABIT OF BEING BUSY

Marion Giddy - 25 August 2021

The pleasure and attraction of ‘busy’

“How are you?”

“I’ve been busy.”  It’s said to be a mark of success. Many of our thoughts can be wrapped up in productivity and achievement, consciously or not, if we place our value and sense of fulfillment in what gets done. 

We then consistently reinforce a behavioural pattern related to this external, productivity focus: 
‘I feel good/relaxed/accomplished/can switch off  if…’

which simultaneously means the opposite is also true → 
‘If I don’t ..., I don’t feel good/relaxed/accomplished/okay..’

The society in which most of us are living, over-values achievement, success, ticking things off the list.  

Even beyond work, in the realms of personal growth, reading books, ‘doing yoga’,  exercising or ‘self care’ can become scheduled demands, rather than generative activities that are truly restorative for the body’s energy systems.

So let’s explore ‘busy’...

The word ‘busy’ comes from the Old English bisig  meaning "careful, anxious," and this definition was later expanded into "continually employed or occupied, in constant or energetic action"

Anxious.  Occupied. Full of ‘cares’. Busy.  Interesting to note the link also with the constant energetic action required. → busy is not just a state of mind, but also a state of body.

And what are we busy with?

Our work 

Our relationships

Our mission or purpose

Exercise, habits, books, learning, self-improvement, spirituality, activism, standing up for and defining values of justice, equality and fairness. 

Busy. Busy. Busy.

Take a moment, as you sit here and consider what it is that you find yourself, busying yourself with?

What is your attention attracted to, or distracted by?

Surely though,  this is normal?  This busy-ness? Right?  There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with it?  

Let’s go deeper into that mind & body connection.

What happens to our body when we’re busy?

Our bodies have two systems that work in unison to modulate our state, in relation to the external world: 
the sympathetic nervous system, and the parasympathetic nervous system.  

Often, being busy and stressed  - we’re in an active, alert, sympathetic state. The body is primed for action.  Poised.  Hearts pound, breathing quickens, muscles tense.  Designed as a ‘fight or flight’ response for responding quickly to a life threatening situation.

In this state, adrenaline is triggered, which releases glucose (energy) into the system. We’re switched ‘on’.

This is the opposite of the rest state. 

The parasympathetic. 

Things like heart rate variability. 

Think of an animal you know well, perhaps a cat or a dog.  How easily and quickly they can switch between these states - one minute they’re fast asleep, the next minute - alert & active after hearing an unusual sound, or smelling something enticing.  The physical body is designed to move between these two states, effortlessly, as is required.

There’s nothing bad about the sympathetic state, however the problem comes when we aren’t able to ‘switch off’ from there, and psychological stress prolongs our time spent in this mode.  

Perhaps something is on our mind, a problem at work that isn’t resolved, or we’re in conflict with another. Ruminating thoughts run around in mind, consciously or below the surface, which maintains the sympathetic state in the body.  We can find it hard to wind down.  

Dr. Gabor Mate, a renowned physician and expert in trauma, addiction, stress and childhood development invites us to consider our relationship with ‘busy-ness’ in his speech ‘The Connection between Stress and Disease’: “This rigid and compulsive identification with duty, role and responsibility rather than the needs of the self is a risk factor for illness.” - Dr Gabor Mate

Rigid.  Compulsive. Identification.    The normality of being busy.  

Developing a relationship with silence

So what do we ‘do’, to stop ‘doing’ so much?

What is the opposite of busy? 

Quiet.  Silent. Stillness.  

How comfortable can we be with stillness, nothingness, silence?  With not achieving or doing anything.

Are you able to find silence, free of distractions, without picking up the phone, binging a TV series or filling your time with social events?

Close your eyes for a moment, and as you sit there, just you, your awareness inside your body, what do you notice?  How comfortable are you?  Is there tension, are there certain muscles or parts of the body tighter than others? 

As you sit here - and you’re still reading, did you even allow yourself that moment above to stop and check-in, or did you read on → seeking to get to the ‘next’ part of this blog?

Take a moment...

Now...

What does silence reveal within us?

The things we are attracted to or distracted into. The things that occupy us. The distractions that fill our own space.  

Thoughts about work, about others, about needs, about desires, about hopes, about regrets, about plans.

Thoughts that drive habitual actions and behaviours that maintain the cycle, and keep us on the treadmill of busy, in a perpetually tense state.

Cultivating habits to support rest

So we can start with these habits. By noticing, and bringing awareness to the activities, and external behaviours, we can use these as an entryway to observe the thoughts or personality structures that get in the way of our rest, our silence, and create an opportunity to release them.

Which of your habits support your rest, your silence, and which reinforce your busy state?

Creating change requires moving away from habituated actions.  

Take a moment to reflect on your daily and weekly routine.  If it’s useful, look at your calendar, to-do list, or reflect on the last 7 days.

Which of your habits are generative, restorative, and emphasise positive boundaries?

Which of your habits reinforce or cultivate your experience of stress?

Some examples to consider:

Habits of body; exercise, what we consume, how we move and treat our physical selves.

Habits of mind; our attentions, intentions, personality traits and habituated ways of thinking about ourselves, our work and towards others and the world.

Spiritual practices; meditation, self enquiry, journaling, and other practices that cultivate stillness, silence and meaning.

And Relational habits, within family, community and the environment in which we exist. 

What are the habits you’ve been intending to start, longing to implement, but haven’t made time for because you’re too busy?

What are the habits you’re ready to release?

Write it all down. Putting these habits down onto paper will allow you to look at them with clarity.  

We have a moment-by-moment opportunity to notice the attraction and distraction of ‘busy’.  

To consciously identify that which is taking us away from what is actually true about our essential nature. 

To exist more often in presence with the absolute perfection of reality in this exact moment and our pre-existing whole capacity to respond to each moment, exactly as we are right now.

Mastering the external habits, begins a process by which we can begin to master the internal habits of self.

If you’re wanting to explore this in more depth, particularly in relation to the drives and aspects of personality that can make change seem impossible, join us in October for MASTERING SELF, a 10-week course exploring Meditation and Personality.

More information & Registration HERE.

And enjoy the change ✌